The Dissident, Four Loko, and Figgy Pudding

As I enjoyed one of the most packed 36 hours of brewery touring in many moons, the world continued to spin on its axis. Babies were born, Blazers were lost for the season, and rains hammered down on the City of Roses. Plus a few more noteworthy happenings. I direct your attention to these:

1. Deschutes FINALLY Releases the Dissident
There may be no better named beer in the Deschutes' line-up than the wild Dissident. It adheres to no schedule; it puckishly thwarts promotion. But, after an extra few months, it seems the brewers have decided their bad boy is finally ready for his debut. (Most beers are ladies; the Dissident, I think, bears the unruly mark of a y chromosome.) I strongly encourage everyone to get to one of the Deschutes pubs to try the beer now. In it's "green" manifestation (a wholly relative characterization), it will exhibit more fruit and sugars. Then buy a bottle or three and throw them in the basement. Over the coming months, the brettanomyces will get busy and start drying the beer out, making it more austere and refined. There aren't so many landmark beers in the world, but the Dissident qualifies. I would put it among just a handful of the most accomplished American sours.

When the Dissident debuted, I wrote a post on both the oud bruin style and an extensive review of the Dissident.

2. FDA Agrees: Four Loko Isn't Legal
The Four Loko saga is a fascinating study in the interaction between public opinion and public policy. Caffeinated alcoholic beverages have been on the market for years. The Food and Drug Administration began studying them a year ago, but was pretty much sitting on its hands until a rash of college students started getting sick drinking them after returning to campuses last month. The sick students provoked a media tidal wave (in which I participated), spurring the FDA to issue a ruling yesterday:

Dr. Margaret Hamburg, the F.D.A. commissioner, said the drinks appeared to pose a serious public health threat because the caffeine masked the effects of the alcohol, leading to “a state of wide-awake drunk.” After a yearlong review found no conclusive evidence that the drinks were safe, she said, the F.D.A. decided the caffeine in them was an illegal additive.

The lesson is that government is responsive to public policy. This is either good or bad, depending on your disposition and the issue at hand. I found the whole thing fascinating. Drinks like Four Loko won't be on shelves much longer, so if you want to a souvenir of this moment in beverage history, get down to stores fast.

3. Block 15 Releases Their First Bottled Beer, Figgy Pudding
Corvallis' Block 15 brewing is one of Beervana's best-kept secrets. Nick Arzner's beers are so popular in Corvallis that they don't regularly make it to Portland. This is actually a very good thing, owing to the fact that the good people of Corvallis have suffered from a relative dearth of breweries. In that spirit, Corvallisians (Corvallisers? Covallites? Corvallipudians?) will enjoy the overwhelming home-field advantage when Figgy Pudding is released in corked, 750ml bottles tomorrow. Only 64 cases were bottled, and if we're very lucky, a case or two will make it north. Your best bet is to send Corvallis friends and kin down to the brewery tomorrow.

As it happens, I was in the sprawling, Willy Wonka-like cellar of Block 15 just yesterday, where I tasted Figgy Pudding. I would describe it as an English old ale, though at 11%, it's a hair stronger than most. Here's the brewery description:

“Our holiday offering brewed with English pale and specialty malts and molasses. Matured 3-4 months in freshly emptied brandy barrels and conditioned with mission figs. Gently spiced with the world’s finest Ceylon cinnamon and whole nutmeg.”

With sweet beers, the difficulty is not tripping over the line into cloying. (I made a poor old ale last year called "Old Codger" that failed the test.) Figgy Pudding is exactly what you hope for: it's sweet, but rich and long. Aging beers take on a sherry-like note (when they age well), and casking these on brandy was a brilliant stroke. The brandy adds that aged quality, as it draws out the sugars and alcohol from the beer. Nick used a very light hand with the figs and spices--and many tasters won't even notice them. I prevailed upon Nick to sell me a couple bottles (I paid retail!), and I'll take one to the family in Maine and put one in the cellar. I don't have a rating for "good enough to take to the family in Maine," but you get the idea. You might even think it's worth driving to Corvallis for a bottle.

A Four Loko Tasting

Anticipating FDA intervention, the makers of Four Loko have taken pre-emptive action and announced they will drop three ingredients--caffeine, taurine, and guarana. Ah, but before the era ends, I had to taste the Loko. For socio-historic purposes. By chance, when friends and I got together last night, someone else had the same idea, so we tried two flavors: Lemon Lime and Blue Raspberry. A third can of Cranberry Lemonade will remain in my private collection.

I expected Four Loko to taste very sweet and artificial, like alcohol-spiked Kool-Aid. Bad, but in a familiar, semi-palatable way. Was I in for a surprise. First off, as you can see from the photo, Four Loko comes in vibrant, unnatural colors that recall cleaning agents. That's Blue Raspberry, and the Lemon Lime was nuclear green. The aromas are even more unnatural--and powerful. We cracked the Blue Raspberry first, and I was startled when the scent filled the room. It's sickly sweet, but also harbors a chemical undercurrent. The flavor of Blue Raspberry was similar--again, sickly sweet, like Kool Aid. Predictable. But there's a lot more going on, and all of it is bad. A chemical fizz that has the quality of burning.

It was stridently unpleasant, but as a drug-delivery system, not out of the ordinary. (I'd rather sip Four Loko than mess with needles.)

Then we turned to the Lemon Lime, which I assumed (again, incorrectly) would be more palatable. Citrus is both a relatively palatable synthetic flavor, and also good at covering up other flavors. Not in Four Loko, though. The smell was even stronger--and so unnatural that it triggered my lizard brain to mark it as a poison. The top note is Kool-Aid again, though more like a cheap, dollar-store brand. Then comes a toxic underlayment of Mr. Clean, tree car-freshener, and lime Jello all bound up by that acid-like fizz. Absolutely undrinkable.

I have no idea about the effect of Four Loko on the human body, because I had just a couple swallows of each "flavor." Younger and hardier people can test the product for those properties.

Verdict: magnificently unpalatable.