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Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Fill in the Blanks

Introducing the Buy-out
[ _______________ ] announced today an agreement to acquire a majority interest in
[ ________ ]-based [ __________ ] Brewing Company.

Expression of Delight in Finding the Perfect Buyer
“Bringing  [ __________ ] on  allowed us to get to know each other better and realize the incredible potential of becoming a majority-owned partner with  [ __________ ] ,” said  [ __________ ] ,  co-founder and vice president of brewing development. “With  [ __________ ] 's dedication to helping us grow and their passion for creating high-quality craft beers, we knew it would be the perfect partnership. We look forward to continuing to create innovative beers to share with beer lovers nationwide.”

Anodyne History of the Acquired Brewery
[ ________ ] founders Buckowski and John Cochran set out in 2002 to craft beers unlike any that were available in the [ ________ ] at the time, choosing [ ________ ] as home base because of its distinctive culture and shared appreciation for music. The 84,000-square-foot brewery and 100-barrel brew house creates year-round and seasonal beers including [ ________ ], [ ________ ], and [ ________ ].

Expression of Delight in Finding Perfect Craft Brewery to Buy
 “The team at  [ ________ ] is so passionate and committed to brewing such terrific beers that we are thrilled to welcome them deeper into the  [ ________ ] family,” said Scott Whitley, president and CEO of  [ ________ ] . “As owners, our job is to work collaboratively with their team to support their continued success with their innovative, award-winning beers that complement our portfolio perfectly.”

Concluding Corporate Statements
[ ________ ]  Company joins other leading crafts in the [ ________ ] portfolio, including [ ________ ] Brewing Company, [ ________ ] Brewing Company and [ ________ ] Brewing Company. For more information on [ ________ ] Company and its portfolio of brands, visit [ ________ ] .com.   The transaction is expected to complete in August 2016. The terms of the transaction were not disclosed.

________________

This was the actual press release of an actual sale that took place today, though the form is so predictable it is 100% interchangeable with any recent or future acquisition. In this case, the acquired brewery was Georgia's Terrapin, and the acquirer was MillerCoors (which had already owned a minority stake).

Carry on.

5 comments:

Pete Dunlop said...

Once MegaBrew is finalized, the pace of acquisitions will likely increase. AB has been quiet this year, waiting for DOJ approval. That will change. And, as we see with the MC takeover of Terrapin, AB isn't the only game in town.

Kat said...

This is exactly what I was thinking when I read the release! I recognize that tree...

Jeff said...

*facepalm

No wonder my degree in technical communications is a bit of a joke.

fplusbeer said...

Sad Libs

Jeff Alworth said...

Pete, that's a very astute point. Hadn't considered that.

Jeff--what are you talking about? Get a job writing press releases for one of the big breweries and your job will be a breeze! Plus, you'd make more in a month than I make in a year.

fplusbeer--brilliant.

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