Coors, Cool Like Burt Reynolds

A little while back, I received an email from someone at Coors wanting to send me something from their latest promotion. I get a lot of inappropriate emails from PR people who have clearly never read my blog, but this was special: it came not long after I cited Pete Coors as the namesake of a DMS Award. Clearly, they weren't big readers. So of course I said: "Sure, send it along."

Last week, this is what arrived:

1. A Smokey and the Bandit (1977) DVD
2. Smokey and the Bandit poster
3. Coors beer cozy
4. Coors beer mat
5. Four vintage reproduction cans, drained of beer

At first, I thought the beers were just empty. Nope--they've actually been drained. If you click on the photo, you can see the hole in the bottom of the can laying down. So, not only did Coors not send me beer, they went to a great deal of effort to make sure I didn't get any beer. (Maybe they are readers, after all.) I received the usual press release touting Coors as the greatest beer ever brewed by human hands, along with a gauzy retrospective of their marketing schemes through the decades. Bizarrely, though, there's absolutely no mention of Smokey in the Bandit or why they would send a copy of the DVD and poster to me. What am I to make of all this?

As a sometime scholar of semiotics, this is my reading:

1. Coors is cool, like the Bandit's mustache.
   
2. Coors is sexy, like 61-year-old Jackie Gleason.
3. Coors is aimed at consumers old enough to reminisce fondly about the fun times of the mid-70s.
   
4. Coors is best drunk ice cold.
   
5. Coors is unfit for human consumption.

So there you have it. I suppose I should mention that Coors is excited to be releasing their Heritage Cans in February and March, and hopes you'll race out to buy them. But be forwarned: they may well not have been drained of beer in advance!

Bizarre Press Release of the Week

I'm all for fighting alcoholism, but I just can't see any hook for this book on a beer blog.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

One man’s Incredible Journey from Alcohol Dependency to Astronomical Success

Phoenix, AZ , October 12, 2009 - Alcohol is the #1 health problem in America today. Affecting close to 16 million people, with an annual price tab of $9 billion in liquor sales, it’s a pretty safe bet that everyone’s life has been touched by it one way or another – either as individuals with a drinking problem, or with a friend or family member. Jeffrey Taylor was one such man. He began drinking at age twelve and did not stop until one cold, snowy night in New York when he was found by police in a gutter, stripped of his clothes. When he woke up in a hospital, on life support and suffering from alcohol poisoning, he could not even remember his own name.

Writes Lisa McEntyre of the Ascot Media Group in her comment to me:

Jeffrey Taylor, author and millionaire entrepreneur, found hope and achieved financial success after a near-death experience from alcohol abuse. He excites audiences with stories that show anyone can recover from the devastating effects of alcohol addiction while achieving financial security. He faced his demons and won the battle, ultimately becoming a huge business success story that made him a millionaire in the process! Jeffrey shares meaningful messages to both radio and TV audiences and is often asked back due to listener and viewer feedback. His life experiences lend authenticity to his books, making him a fascinating guest embraced by audiences everywhere.

Please read the following press release and let me know if I may provide additional information for consideration of an interview.

I get a lot of weird press releases, but this is exceptional even among that group. Lisa, what exactly did you expect me to do with this information?