Portlandia: Mildly Funny, But Where's the Beer?

If you live in Portland, you are no doubt aware that a new TV show is about to debut featuring our fair city: "Portlandia." (If you're like me, you became aware of the channel broadcasting the show, IFC, only after becoming aware of the show itself.) If you live elsewhere, probably you don't know about it or care. But around here, it's been getting a lot of buzz--due mainly to this viral video:

The entire show is actually streamable via Hulu, and I watched it recently. Sketch comedy, from SNL's Fred Armisen, with help from co-creative Carrie Brownstein of Sleater-Kinney. I'm not a fan of sketch comedy, and I'd say this is mostly miss with a few nice chuckles along the way.

The idea is to poke fun at Portland's unique culture--and they do a fairly good job of identifying and capturing it. Portland's the butt of the jokes, but in the manner of Portlanders kidding themselves. The biggest oversight, however, is the lack of beer references. Inexcusable! So, as a public service, here's a mini-script the writers can steal and expand upon.

Portlandia: Beer

Scene: Set in an industrial pub with lots of concrete and steel. A picture of a haloed Fred Eckhardt hangs above the bar. Three people are sitting at the bar, Armisen, Brownstein, and oh, I don't know, Sam Calagione. A bartender stands ready with a tulip glass behind the bar.

Mike (Armisen): Have you tried the new Ninkasi Quad IPA?
Kylie (Brownstein): Quad?
Mike: Yeah, it's 19% alcohol and 432 IBUs
Kylie: I'm over the IPAs. It's all sour for me. [To bartender] I'll have that new one from Cascade, the dragonfruit-artichoke strong blond.
Bartender to Joe: What are you having?
Joe (Calagione): Fat Tire.
Mike and Kylie begin to laugh.
Joe: What's so funny.
Mike: nothing. (snorts)
Kylie breaks into peals of laughter.
Bartender, to Joe: Beer geeks, just ignore them.
Andrew (James Mercer) enters. Goes to the bar, orders a Pabst tall.
Mike and Kylie nod approvingly.
fade.